Just to love and be loved in return.

Love is never perfect.
Its not easy or pretty at times.
But love, real, true love between people will change you permanently.
Today, I got my first tattoo.
I've been thinking about this for a long time.

A year ago, Luke drew a heart with pen on my chest at a time when I needed to know the most that he loved me.
I had to relinquish my role as a girlfriend for a period of time while he played boyfriend to someone else for a bit.
This silly little lop-sided heart has meant more to me than a lot of things.
Him pushing me into a dark private corner and telling me "i love you" in a whisper while he drew a heart over my own, said everything I needed to know.
I doubt he remembers even doing this but-
It gave me a comfort.

The tattoo is the same heart he drew on me a year ago... only as a permanent tattoo instead of BIC pen.
Please don't confuse me getting this tattooed on me as a pitiful way of tattooing his name on my ass cheek- it actually has nothing to do with branding myself with him.
This little heart has become a reminder of how I've grown.
I never had family or true friends.
Any relationship I had was very guarded for fear that I would get hurt.
Knowing Luke has changed me. How I love, him as my boyfriend and as a friend.
I've learned how to simply love someone without boundaries the way I should've been loving people my whole life.
He forced past my walls and demanded honesty and love.
I eventually gave in and in turn, learned what I've done wrong for 25 years.
I think about if I hadn't met him.
I wouldn't have the family of astounding friends around me that I do.
They love me fully and I, love them just the same... for the first time.
I have the most amazing circle of support that I could ever imagine!
This tattoo is not an "I love Luke Dorsey".
This is my way of saying I have learned to love and be loved in return.
I wanted a tattoo saying this for me in a way that I only understand.
I wanted it to be permanent and to hurt.
I wanted it to face me as a daily reminder of whats important.
I wanted it to be imperfect and simple.
No one has the power to remove the people you love. Love hurts. Its imperfect. But sometimes, to love is simple and quiet.
So, yes, it was drawn by him, and now it is my reminder to love completely and without fear because you don't know how it can change your life or someone elses. Because of him, every relationship I have with anyone in my life will be different because of what I've learned.
This is why I needed this heart permanently on me.